Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Don't Quit Your Day Job

Creating and a Rainy Day

I’m not going to lie to you. It’s 11 a.m. and I’m still in my bathrobe. I’ve been up since 7:45 a.m. (thanks to my dog), but I’ve had the perfect lazy Sunday morning.

I watched some early morning news shows, read some magazines, had a couple of cups of coffee and did a little laundry. I feel ready to settle down and write. Truth be told, I could meander this way all day. A much needed rain storm has drenched the San Francisco Bay Area and I would love to hole up all day and write.
Still duty calls. Being a mom is a full-time time job and part of my job today is to attend the championship basketball game for my twelve year old son. His team went this far last year too. These games are always exciting and you can’t help but soar with pride when you see your child excel at something.

I’ve learned quickly that I better write this blog entry before the game. The championship game is at 2pm; who knows how the rest of the day will go for me. We could be celebrating, we could have a depressed household, or simply want to rush back home to get out of the rain and snuggle in front of the TV!

It’s not about just making time for my writing; it’s about being tuned in to who I am. I’m starting to learn where my writing weaknesses and pitfalls are. I tend to let my emotions get the better of me. Even happiness can be a short leash to accomplishment.

Yesterday, my son’s team won the playoff game that leads to today’s game. The score was tight and the game ended with lots of feet pounding and cheering. However, the game was at 10 a.m. so by noon we were back home. I seriously needed to do some house cleaning, but in all honesty I could have found time to write. Instead I wallowed in feeling happy.

Lately, it’s been easy to make the excuse to myself that it’s hard to write when there are so many serious issues in our country and the world. The things I write often seem frivolous in comparison. Couldn’t I find a better use for my time? Now, I see that I can even use good times as excuse to put off my writing. But it was nice to walk around feeling happy. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. My son needed large chunks of my time to get through his homework and, due to the economic crunch, my daughter’s beloved drama school was forced to shut its doors forever. To add an extra challenge, I’ve had a terrible cold for almost three weeks!

I did deserve my day of joy. I certainly don’t want to imply that I should sacrifice living my life for writing about my life. I do find that this journey of becoming a writer forces you to really look at who you are as a person. More than ever, I have to be in tune with the areas of my life that get me off the train of productivity. It was easy to know that those factors would be stress, depression and illness, but it’s easy to forget that happiness can quickly lead to complacency.

Well, I’m off to the game. It is a three-day holiday weekend for me so I hope I can get a lot or writing accomplished and possibly celebrating too.



ShallWeDance said...

Pretty inspiring and reassuring. I could use your spirit. I don't have your family responsibilities, but am trying to use being laid off to begin a transition from 9-5 support staff work to freelance writing, and, when the need arrives after unemployment benefits expire, to hopefully find employment somewhere other than law office support. Doing this all in the NOVA area while delaying subletting my apartment in Brooklyn (this area with my family nearby seems like a more fertile location for the kind of transition I'm hoping to achieve!) You have family responsibilities, I'm trying to plan for the finacial safety net I'll need (which will involve a job) while focusing on writing as well.

Colleen Gonzalez said...

I think one of the huge traps one can face is having the time we always craved. I find, that as much as I hate to admit it, I'm more productive when I have more things on my plate. Time can so easily be wasted when it's laying in front of us. It's important, yet difficult to balance it all. It's important to make time for your writing, but you also have to make time to live life because if you don't, you'll have nothing to write about!