Saturday, November 01, 2008

Wild Woman of Queens: Notes on Urban Creativity from across the East River.

Wild Woman of Queens: Notes on Urban Creativity from across the East River.

Sandra Lee Schubert

On the Edge

Facing NYC, photo by Sandra Lee Schubert

No matter what I do I can't escape the feeling of tension. It is on the TV, on the Internet. I hear in conversations. There is tension around the elections. Tension about the economy. There is a strange hyper energy in NYC. I know that seems odd, the energy is Times Square on New Year's Eve. It feels weird all over.

Or is it just me? Last week I bought a new camera. I couldn't really afford it, even though it was on sale. But it was red, it took double A batteries and it was so light and so small it slips right into my pocket. You can see one of my photos on this blog. That is the view from my train station. A view like that can make you feel a bit better about going to work.

This camera created a tension but it took another a way. I love taking photos. When I walk around NYC I always want to take a photo... there is a texture, a color an image that resonates with me. So I resolved a bit of creative tension but increased another. Was it a fair trade off?

I have this tension about being a creative being. There is this whole creating a platform, marketing myself, making sure I have a presence in the world.

What I really want to do is take photos and write. That is it. At the core is this deep urge to create. That urge has no particular agenda to be famous, rich or well-known.

My tension is the desire to create and the need to make a living of some sort. I would prefer my job be more creative and aligned with my desires. After all I spend an enormous time doing it.

What about you? What keeps you on the edge? Do your tensions make you crazy or make you creative? Standing at the edge I must decide what to do.

Sandra Lee Schubert is a creative vagabond, a poet, writer and dabbler in the arts and online entrepreneur. She co-facilitates the Wild Angels Poets and Writers Group at the historic Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine. She is also the creator of the e-course, Writing for Life: Creating a Story of Your Own. Visit her blog: Email her or @writing4life via twitter.


soulartist said...
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soulartist said...

You bring up a fundamental issue worth noting. A certain amount of tension in the form of integrity is necessary to keep the atoms and quantum structure of our bodies from exploding.

If tension is driving one crazy, then that world view is askew, driven wildly by unbridled, ego, fear, and ignorance. And what is the edge? Is it something beyond you? I suggest you are the edge--that being willing to confront the unknown for art's sake--rewards come in direct proportion to dedication, which is genius.

No thing ever kept the true artist from living an authentic life.