Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Macho Creativity

Harry’s Delusion

Harry sat dejected in the cold artic landscape. “Forget it,” he thought to himself. Polar bears are meant to hunt and kill. They need to be aggressive and tough…it’s expected of them. He scrubbed out any trace of his previous creative endeavor from the snow and resumed his practice of doing push-ups to occupy his time…and mind.

He finished his first set of 2400 and then started on his sit-up routine. He hated doing this stuff but knew it to be a necessary component of the macho life. Even though his muscles were covered by thick white hair, it gave Harry confidence to know he was carrying six-pack-abs below. He could swagger. He had the equipment for it. He practiced walking around the ice hole. He was trying to perfect the John Wayne style that was proving very successful for him.

“Chicks love this,” he thought ignoring how silly he looked prancing around the ice hole. It would all be worth it…he hoped.

On the next ridge a group of three female bears watched Harry from behind an ice shelf. They chattered excitedly among themselves knowing they were having a rare opportunity to watch a young macho stud perform, uninhibited by the knowledge he was being watched.

“Oh..ahmawyee god!” Shelia exclaimed breathlessly. She was a cheerleader and appreciated athletic movement. Rhonda nodded in agreement. Eloise stood and stared in rapt appreciation.

“That’s Harry. He’s so cute. Look at him strut. Why is he going around in circles? Should we talk to him?” The giggling continued as they worked up their confidence to show themselves.

Meanwhile, Harry continued his swagger around the ice hole, unaware that he was being observed.

“Man, am I bored.” Harry thought with frustration. Sadly, he remembered the momentary joy he felt at the thought of drawing in the snow. He shut his eyes tightly trying to block out these creative and unmanly thoughts. He felt his abs again and felt slightly better…but still bored.

Suddenly, Harry saw the three females walking down the hill towards him. “Oh, shit! They must have seen me working out and practicing.” This was not good. Harry had to create the illusion that his strength and swagger came naturally.

“Hi Harry!” Eloise blinked her eyes seductively. “What are you doing?”

Harry stammered briefly. Then roared. He always did that when he was flustered. It was a defense mechanism that never failed him. The girls stepped back quickly.

“Catching seals, of course.” He replied. He struck his hunter pose. They all loved it.

“How many have you caught?” Rhonda asked.

“Several.” Harry lied. “What brings you ladies out here?”

Shelia replied. “Why, we’re just out for a walk…checking out the neighborhood…you know what I mean?” She was the aggressive one. Harry could all tell they were interested in getting to know him better. Mating season was starting soon; he knew he was on a lot of lists.

Sensing their interest in him, Harry relaxed. He observed them critically: all not bad looking. Anyone would be proud to be seen with them…particularly Shelia. She was hot. Harry winked at her…she smiled back seductively. It was so easy. Thank god for those sit-ups.

But Harry felt no connection with any of them. It was more like a game than a mating ritual. As they stood together conversing as young polar bears do, Harry felt the boredom, the futility of all that he was. They just wanted to be seen with him…like some status symbol. They didn’t care about who he was inside…just what he looked like and what he could do for them. His interest waned further. Intuitively, the females retreated. Harry excused himself.

“Have to get back to my hunting.” He said without conviction.

The females nodded and moved on. Harry watched them move away slowly. He was sadder than ever. Unconsciously, he began doodling again in the snow, breathing quietly, waiting for the signs of bubbles from below.

Lost in thought, alone on the frozen tundra, Harry let his imagination roam. Quickly the doodle took form and shape. Again, Harry felt the enormous joy and satisfaction of the creative spirit that was in him. It was his dark secret. One he would protect forever but one he could chose to exercise whenever he was alone.

“What’s that, Harry?” a quiet female voice from behind startled him. She had come out of nowhere. What would he do now…now that he had been discovered…and exposed?


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